Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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