i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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