hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
