I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
