C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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