Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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