Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
