My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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