got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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