whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
