I wannas sexs uuuuu
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
