im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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