Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
