Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
