Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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