No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
