You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
