I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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