yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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