Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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