It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
