Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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