i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said โstroke.โ
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