I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize