I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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