I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
