It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
