His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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