Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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