It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
