You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
