Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
