i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
