He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
