You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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