Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What drink are we having for lunch?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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