Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
