you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
