Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
