My room smells like vodka and shame
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
