this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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