I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
