3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
