My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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