it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
