I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
