Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
