I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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