Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
These tits shall not be calmed
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
