My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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