a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
